Matt Glasby, author of The Book of Horror (available here), on how to navigate the horror genre’s many highs and lows.
Every horror fan knows there’s rules. Hell, Scream made it explicit (on more than one occasion). But the rules of horror don’t just apply to characters trying to avoid becoming part of the body count—there are six key commandments that apply to our side of the screen too, so we (and our fellow horror fans) can wring every last drop out of the genre.
Learn to live with spoilers
Now don’t get me wrong, sharing spoilers is at best ignorant and at worst an act of pure unadulterated evil, and I wish cold tea and stubbed toes on anyone who does it. However, on a long enough timeline, what are you really, actually going to do? Yes, there’s a mute button, but eventually, some well-meaning friend/follower/rando will post something that, to their eyes, dances elegantly around a plot point, but in fact rips the absolute arse out of it.
There are two solutions. One, stay home, turn off your phone and don’t interact with anyone, ever. Tempting.
And two, get over it. There are only so many things that can happen in a film, so just try to ignore the noise and let it all wash over you.
Don’t try and see everything
At last count there were, oh, I don’t know, about six million different streaming platforms, each costing you a varying amount per month. So unless you fancy being ruined by debt and/or indecision you need to be canny.
Lots of cinema chains have loyalty schemes, most streamers offer free trials, and sites such as Tubi don’t cost a penny and have plenty of horror options.
The main thing to remember is that the cream almost always rises to the top—there’s a reason you’ve heard of YouTube sensation Milk & Serial. Trying to watch everything is madness, so just bide your time and pick off the good stuff when you’re ready.
Obey cinema etiquette – or stay home
Most of you don’t need to read this, and those who do need to won’t, but the cinema is not your living room.
There’s no excuse for using phones, talking or eating noisy food, and if anyone wants to do those things THEY ACTUALLY CAN, for free, at home.
In a world that feels like it’s sliding down the greasy pole to damnation, cinema remains a thing of rare communal beauty. But it’s fragile, especially right now, and if we don’t want take steps to protect it—starting with the cinemas themselves—we probably don’t deserve it.
Don’t be an idiot
Let’s be clear, it’s OK—healthy, even—to have controversial opinions. I, for one, like [name of film redacted] but don’t particularly care for [name of film redacted]. But just because everyone has a right to their opinion, doesn’t mean everyone is right to share it.
Yes, [name redacted] may be a [redacted] and their movies all just a massive load of [redacted], but you don’t need to watch them, get riled by the people who do—or @ the director. In fact, definitely don’t do this. Social media reduces most discourse to shouting.
But before you get upset by something you see, try and look for the nuances in it. It’s just possible the film-makers, who spent years getting their work to the screen, have considered its implications more thoroughly than you.
Block out the noise
Not all hot takes were born equal, so make sure to interrogate your sources before taking them onboard. Person A might be a decades-long student of film in its myriad forms; Person B might have a TikTok account and great hair.
The internet has democratised and—to a certain extent—degraded film criticism, so it’s worth remembering that those who shout the loudest might not necessarily be those with the most to say. In fact, it’s usually the opposite.
While we’re here, don’t use your platform to shit on something other people love—I’ve totally done this in the past, and I wish I could take it back—there’s not enough joy to go round as it is. And be wary of anyone using the term “elevated horror”. It’s just “horror”, OK?
Be optimistic
The horror community is truly one of the kindest and most passionate on the planet, so find your tribe and defend them to the last. After all, it’s this passion—and compassion—that’s going to save us from the AI overlords, so don’t be ashamed of loving what you love.
Horror is huge right now because reality is so bleak, but the balance will eventually shift the other way. Don’t fret though: the geeks have already inherited the earth—or at least the bits worth inheriting. It’s going to be OK, and if it isn’t at least the films will be good.
