Star Wars: The Force Awakens is just around the corner, and we know quite a few of you are planning your own Star Wars marathons before seeing Episode VII. But why bother watching the movies you’ve probably already seen when you can dive into an unseen galaxy of enjoyable Star Wars knock-offs? Our expert movie gem-finder Aaron Yap has dusted off five outstanding wannabes to watch.
Sure, some of these Star Wars clones reach a whole new universe of terrible, but they are all far more entertaining than a re-watch of Attack of the Clones.
MESSAGE FROM SPACE
The idea of a “Star Wars rip-off” is kinda ironic, given that it’s no secret that George Lucas himself has borrowed plenty from masters like Akira Kurosawa and John Ford for his iconic blockbuster space opera. But when you watch something like Kinji Fukasaku’s bald-faced 1978 imitation Message from Space, there’s really no other way to put it.
This film might not be my favourite of all the knock-offs, but definitely leads the trend – and not just because it’s one of the earliest out the gate to steal bits wholesale (the Death Star trench run is practically restaged here). In a move unthinkable today, the producers got the Japanese government to delay the release of Star Wars for a whole year, so that Message from Space could reach local audiences first!
Production-wise, it’s totally inferior to Lucas’ film, mounted with half the budget, as evident in the charmingly unconvincing miniature work. The plot is a bit of mess, about eight “chosen ones” brought together by glowing walnuts to defeat an evil, steel-skinned emperor, or something like that. But Message from Space isn’t without some colourful camp value – it’s impossible to hate a film that has Sonny Chiba as a space samurai and Vic Morrow a whiskey-swilling retired general sporting a pimpin’ fur-collared coat.
STARCRASH
The same year saw B-movie king Roger Corman release the lovably goofy, gloriously bad Starcrash. Directed by Italo hack Luigi Cozzi, who later made the Alien rip-off Contamination, this spaghetti sci-fi cheapie cranks up the pulpy Flash Gordon-esque kitsch.
The cast is amazing: character actor Joe Spinell hamming it up as a villain named Count Zarth Arn, young David Hasselhoff in a shield mask that shoots lasers, Bond girl Caroline Munro prancing around with very little on, former child evangelist Marjoe Gortner playing a clairvoyant, light-saber-wielding alien who can bring back the dead… Then there’s Amazon women on horseback, fugly troglodytes, a stop-motion-animated giant that looks like a Ray Harryhausen cast-off, a C-3PO-type police robot with a Texan accent, plus the whole thing is lit up like a gaudy Christmas tree.
For pure trashy goodness, Starcrash is the Star Wars knock-off to beat.
THE BLACK HOLE
Long, long before Disney acquired Lucasfilm, they wanted their own Star Wars-style hit, so cashed in with this supremely odd duck in 1979.
The Black Hole marked a couple of historical moments for the company: it was their first PG-rated movie and most expensive production to date. Described by astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson as the “least scientifically accurate movie of all time”, this one’s a real trip, following a space crew (Anthony Perkins, Ernest Borgnine, Robert Forster, Yvette Mimieux, Joseph Bottoms) who discover mysterious mad scientist Maximilian Schell living with a bunch of creepy robots in a reportedly missing ship near the black hole.
Clunky pacing and dialogue aside, there’s a lot of entertainment here for lovers of weird ‘70s flicks (e.g. Mimieux communicates telepathically with a cute, Roddy McDowall-voiced robot called V.I.N.CENT). The sets are cool, some of the effects, including work by legendary matte artist Peter Ellenshaw, hold up extremely well, and the nightmarish, cryptic, psychedelic finale is actually mind-blowing, especially for a movie aimed towards children. As with Starcash, John Barry does a great John Williams score.
BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS
Feeding back into the Japanese influence of Star Wars, this 1980 Corman flick fashions itself as an interstellar Seven Samurai… or depending how you want to look at it, The Magnificent Seven in outer space.
Although corny as hell, Battle Beyond the Stars stands out from rest of its ilk thanks to the affectionate, sincere tone of John Sayles’ script. The ragtag characterisations of the mercenaries are pretty fun, ranging from recognisably human (Robert Vaughn’s on-the-run assassin, George Peppard’s hot-dog-grilling space cowboy) to extraterrestrial (Morgan Woodward’s lizard mutant, Earl Boen’s all-white third-eye clone) to, um, out-of-time buxom viking (Sybill Danning, with an unbelievable battle-bra). Clearly low-budget in all areas, but also clear that Corman made the most of it. James Cameron built all the ship models.
TURKISH STAR WARS
There’s cheap… and there’s The Man Who Saved the World, otherwise more fondly known to the cult film world as Turkish Star Wars.
From a legal standpoint, this astoundingly inept cine-insanity would give George Lucas a fatal hernia, seeing how much it actually steals. And when I say “steal”, I don’t mean recreating similar scenes – I mean STEAL. John Williams’ score is heard all over the show, and the opening prologue contains FOOTAGE from Star Wars! A typical shot you’ll see is of star Cüneyt Arkın wearing a helmet, and then some projected shots of X-wings flying in the background. This thing is almost home-movie sweded-level.
Okay, the plot doesn’t resemble Star Wars so much – even in English fan-subtitled versions, it’s incomprehensible. But it’s so loaded with crazy WTF action, including a cantina sequence filled with choppy kung fu fighting and furry monsters, it doesn’t matter. Turkish Star Wars feels like it was made in a parallel universe using entirely different cinematic language, and therefore must be seen.
