Hitman

"Anthropologists seeking to understand the nerd need look no further than this admirably half-assed exercise in stylistic masturbation. How half-assed is Hitman? At one point, the titular innominate is in a fancy hotel being pursued by, I don't know, ninjas or something, and the set-dressing consists of bits of paper with numbers printed on them sellotaped to the doors so as to convey the notion of "hotel"."

"A Eurotrashy vidgame knockoff that misses its target by a mile. Numbingly unthrilling as it lurches from one violent encounter to another, the pic's dark roots in an electronic, non-dramatic medium are plain to see, and unsuspecting gamers lured to theaters will soon wish they were back home participating in the action themselves..."

"This film is like watching the actual game played by someone with slow reactions. That's not much of a spectator sport..."

"Hitman stands right on the threshold between video games and art. On the wrong side of the threshold, but still, give it credit..."

"Ultimately Hitman is about bullets, blood, and bombs. For die-hard fans of the videogame, there is much to relish in terms of cobblestone car chases, punishing fistfights, cool weaponry, impossible physical feats, and ear-popping gun battles that rage through exclusive hotels in exotic locations..."

"Incoherent and utterly lacking in panache, style or originality..."

"The most criminal killing in this movie's blood-spattered 100min runtime is the way Hitman wastes the audience's time..."

"Director Xavier Gens pads out this anorexic narrative with soulless but reasonably choreographed gun battles, and buckets of globby arterial blood..."