The most frightening thing about Mirrors is that no-one stopped production half way through and said “hold on, the film we’re making seems to be a load of old toss, shall we pack up and do something else?” This is as clichéd and tedious a horror flick as you’re likely to see, and there are scenes in it which are so poorly conceived, you find yourself embarrassed for the actors.
Sutherland plays Jack Bauer (well, pretty much – tough guy, estranged from family, haunted by memories of tough guy past, yadda yadda). On his first set of rounds as the department store’s night watchman, he sees HANDPRINTS on a mirror (woah!), a pigeon flies past REALLY LOUDLY, some doors open and close BY THEMSELVES and stuff. The next morning, Kiefer’s face displays signs of bad CGI in his bathroom mirror. He freaks out, but doesn’t quit the job because, as he mumbles to his sister, “It’s not as easy as that”. Then someone is gruesomely offed by their own reflection (double woah!), Kiefer’s freckle-faced poppet of a son gets involved, and some people dance around with white sheets over their heads, going ‘woooooo’.
Okay, that last bit isn’t true, but it may as well be, because what really happens is only fractionally more inspired (it involves a mental hospital and a woman out of Dawson’s Creek). Director Alexandre Aja showed promise with Switchblade Romance and his remake of The Hills Have Eyes, but this hamfisted shambles looks like it was thrown together in a week. Mirrors is a one-trick concept horror, lacking surprises, originality and any sense of film-making joy or creativity. On reflection… avoid.
