In 2012 Seth MacFarlane gave us Ted, the tale of a pot smoking, foul-mouthed, womanising teddy bear still best friends (or thunderbuddies) with Johnny (Mark Wahlberg) who brought him to life with a childhood wish. It was very funny. Genuinely hysterical. In 2014 Seth MacFarlane gave us A Million Ways To Die In The West, the tale of … oh who cares, it was a terrible western and an even worse comedy. Welcome to Ted 2, effectively the sequel to both of those films.
It has Johnny, the bear and the central premise of the first Ted. And around ten jokes that would have made it into that chuckle fest. It has Amanda Seyfried, Liam Neeson (again briefly) and all the problems of MacFarlane’s deaths in the West.
The notional plot sees Ted fighting for his human rights in court. Human rights abuses are tough comic soil, but it would have been great to see the MacFarlane of ten years ago take up the challenge, with thinly-veiled shots at oppressive real-world giants.
Instead, the plot is mostly ignored and tragically unaddressed comically, while a series of set ups are lamely contrived, often for little pay off. The worst offender is a lengthy scene set at a Comic Con where, wait for it, two big guys dress in cosplay in order to beat up nerds. One of them is, cleverly, the actor who played Worf in Star Trek: The Next Generation, but MacFarlane is literally beating the hand that feeds him.
Tragically, like some 1980s straight-to-video sequel, this has all the concept but none of the charm of the original. The jokes feel like the first gags that sprang to mind. The plot is largely ignored. No one seems to care.
It’s time to wish for Ted to stop living.
